Step number and the meaning
On counting in fitness
**note: discussion of disordered eating+exercise habits, as well as numbers (incl. calories)
I used to be an avid step counter.
It began with the canon 10,000; that mystical number that seemingly came out of nowhere and overwhelmed the culture of fitness. Born from a marketing campaign based on its catchiness (in the origin Japanese) and memorability, the number has become loaded with much more power than its numerical value may suggest. Indeed, it is a common goal when striving to move more on the day-to-day. It is true that having a goal is a huge motivator regarding fitness — it is something I have worked with since I got started, with the goal type changing overtime. It’s a nice way to keep accountable and push yourself, depending on the type of activity and one’s relationship with exercise. My current goal is to work for a Hyrox, and I’m loving this kind of training, but the goals here are very different to those of someone focusing on fat loss, distance running, or getting their heaviest deadlift. My goals crossover, naturally, but all of this to say: is 10,000 steps a harmful rhetoric, or a harmless goalpost?
Reflecting on my own experience, step counting and numbers in general have not served me well. This is primarily down to the way in which I used them, going into calorie/macro counting with a rigid mentality. My exercise addiction did not stop with 10,000 steps, but rather expanded to 50-60,000. And while I have left these behaviours behind me, I still feel it in my chest when someone talks about steps they’ve done in a day, alongside having this reaction when someone talks about calories. I used to use a tracking app, and with time I slowly “weaned” off of it. Once again, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with tracking calories, but rather it is the way in which these strategies are used or who harnesses them. I was obsessive with how I logged food and drink in these apps, and overtime I’ve come to realise that, for me, it is better to look at balance. Admittedly, I still count things up in my head, and it will be a long process to undo, or maybe it never will be undone. Engaging with my body and how I feel is difficult, as my history has given me the wonderfully popular phrase of “food noise”. For those who have not experienced it, it may be difficult to comprehend, but for those who have, it is difficult to overcome.
Since the advent of the step tracking app on the iPhone, I have been drawn a little back into the world of “steps”. It is not an obsession as it once was, needing to hit a certain goal by the end of the day, but rather it is an intrigue. I use it roughly as a goal, but due to the nature of my day-to-day at the moment, I am very active and walk a lot anyway, making the counting more arbitrary. There are clear advantages to this kind of technology, especially if one is more goal oriented. It’s all in how it is treated: check the app and it’s a little low? There’s a difference between going for a walk and disordered, repetitive behaviours that recur until a number is hit.
In a similar way, using food tracking apps can be effective and suitable when used with flexibility. Going into logging with an idea for precision is difficult and makes eating out particularly tricky. This is where I found it did not suit me, because it led to a lot of overthinking, and certainly added to a loss of social interactions. Veganism, therefore, became an automatic “cutter” for me, as it was easier to remain within any limits in this way, while making up margins with supplements like protein powder. On this point in particular, I still use protein powder, as I find it a good way to increase protein intake for my goals. This does not, though, come as a substitute for other rounded proteins, such as eggs or meat. It is an important yet tricky balance to strike, especially when one has experienced previously disordered habits. Nevertheless, overtime I stepped away from the apps, and this was by default of being involved in more wide-spreading social situations. It is not nice to be shut off thinking about calories when others are around the table enjoying themselves. This is not a total remedy; calories on menus is perhaps one of the worst things that could have been done for the ED community, but I see their benefits otherwise, and that is why there should be a choice. For me, I find it jarring, and rather than being able to choose what I fancy, my choices from a selection are often led by what has the least calories, or what (to abrupt the habits) has the most.
Ultimately, I’ve found that counting can form a healthy part of one’s fitness journey if treated in the right way. Rather than it being a structure, a given, a set of rules, it could be treated as a guide or a formula; an addition to the routine. Once you are in, it is difficult to get out, and indeed I wonder if I ever will. Still, people must weigh these things up for themselves, and if it suits you and your goals, there is no harm in trying.